The paper attached to this section has been the hardest one for me to scrutinize. I had difficulties to realize what the main purpose of the author was. Disney movies, according to the author, are a good way to educate children how to stereotype. The main problem I had writing this paper was my sentence organization and the connection between statements; this was hard because the author's stereotypical argument is broad. Event though the organization was unclear, "the big picture came across."-- based on my teacher's comment.

The two outcomes I would like to demonstrate with this paper are:

Outcome #1: Produce an argument that explores a line of inquiry , it is persuasive and has good transitions that develop the main purpose of the argument.

Outcome #4: Revise by responding to comments and by correcting grammatical errors.

These two outcomes are really connected in this paper because by revising and making clear transitions make the stakes and thus the argument stronger.

Close Reading

Outcome #1

The subject dealt with in this paper is appealing to any audience since it deals with the effect of mass media in children and the effects that this phenomenon will create in the future in the form of stereotype creation. The subject dealt with is very complex and entraps a variety of opinions; because of this it was written with care so that the paper was objective. To prove that Disney movies create stereotypes in children I developed a stage wise outline that was based on the presentation of examples that proved this point, most of them based on Lippi-green's arguments. An example of this was how " the wolf appears as a Jew" in the three little pigs story. A widespread book that must of America's children have heard or read. Basing my self on examples like this, I was able to take this complex issue and make it appealing. Through the use of examples I am able to write a persuasive and analytic essay based on a complex subject.

Outcome #4

This paper required a lot of revisions and most importantly an effective revision strategy. The original sentence structure of the paper was weak. It had sentences that ran into each other, sometimes combining ideas that were unrelated and making the paper more difficult to read. It was difficult and challenging to solve this problem, since basically every sentence in the paper had to be either changed or split apart. Substantial revision was done to the paper in this manner. An issue raised about the paper was the fact that there was no transition from one paragraph to another. The paragraphs held their ideas pretty well on their own but were poorly connected to the rest of the paper. Transition sentences were added to the paragraphs to give the reader a smoother reading of the paper. An example of this can be seen in the added sentence "Children are very susceptible to new ideas and their minds are very easy to control. As children watch films" in the second paragraph. This sentence was included to add transition from the introduction to the second paragraph. Besides doing the previous two revisions, the paper was carefully revised for grammatical and punctuation errors which in the end created a successfully revised paper.